Sometimes you’ve just got to be your own hero

Of course, God is our ultimate hero – but I’m talking about the day-to-day, struggle bus, pull up the bootstraps and get in there and figure it out, hero. The one who gets the second job so the mortgage gets paid, the one who unclogs the drain or kills the spider – THAT hero! The one on the frontlines of those everyday wars that need to be fought & won.

Sometimes it’s just gotta be you!

But if you’ve suffered loss, it’s very possible that you actually lost your everyday hero – either from divorce or death – and now these hero moments are forced to fall to you, whether you’re ready & qualified or not.

I lost my heroes, that’s for sure.

My mom gave me a feeling of security and safety that was just unexplainable. With my mom, I always knew everything was going to be alright. She just had that way about her – she had an answer for every problem and was the first to pull up her sleeve to get busy fixing! My mom always helped me feel like nothing was impossible.

When I was scared, worried, anxious – whatever – I could call her and I instantly knew everything was going to be ok. The day she died, I distinctly remember thinking that I would never feel THAT safe or loved again. I loved how she made me feel and I miss it so much.

My husband was always very attentive and caring, he was honestly a really amazing husband for the majority of our marriage. He made some really bad decisions and eventually broke my heart, but while we were together he was very sweet and thoughtful. He took on the role of “man of the house” and I always felt safe with him. There were many things that he took responsibility for because I didn’t want to, or frankly, didn’t think I could. When he left, I remember feeling so empty – I had lost my “person”. I was alone. I had no one.

I had to learn to toughen up! I had to teach myself how to fix things around the house. I had to make decisions without anyone giving me advice or direction. I had to find a way to soothe myself when I was sad. I had to finally … be my own hero!

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There were some dead birds in my yard the other day. Sounds disgusting and it is. It’s terrible. Springtime here, there are a lot of birds in my backyard trees and my dogs LOVE to chase & hunt them…. it gets pretty National Geographic out there this time of year!

Now that Im alone, there is no one here to get these birds out of my dog’s mouth but me! I realize this might seem like a really dumb or horrific real-life example of this quote, but dealing with this earlier just made this quote really speak to me.

Today when I had to google “how to get rid of a dead bird” I was equal parts proud of myself and sad for myself. I mean, I did it. I got the birds and they are no longer potential dinner for Scarlett. I know I can do it.

Confession – Im really glad I can do it, but I just don’t WANT to – you know?! I wish things were different. I wish I still had someone that loved me enough to be faithful. I wish I had a partner I could lean on for support, for both love & the dirty work! Maybe I will again one day, maybe I won’t. But whether I like it or not, I’ve got to be my own hero.

I have to say though, when these moments happen – where I did something that I never had to do before (and didn’t think I could) – I am pretty damn proud of myself. I am capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for. And I have a strong feeling that you are too. There isn’t anything we can’t do! We have already survived what was meant to bury us – We’ve got this!

My prayer for you today is that you realize you are a lot more capable than you probably give yourself credit for. We can do the hard things – we just might not want to.

XO

Tay